hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize