I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
