i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
