Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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