i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
