Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
