I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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