the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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