Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
