I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You took a bar mat shot.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
