I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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