Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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