I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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