We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
