I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
