I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
