i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize