it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your cock deserves a montage
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
