Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
