I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
