Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize