U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
smell my finger.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
