he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
