So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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