I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
