He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
