(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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