how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
