i barfeds in our rink
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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