i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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