look no pants
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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