Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
