I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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