I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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