I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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