I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
