My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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