his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
