im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
