come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
