Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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