its not stalking. its research.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
