She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
