The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
