I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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