well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
