question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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