Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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