i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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