i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just google imaged poop.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
