belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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