it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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