We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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