Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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