This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
