Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
