we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
