i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
