Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
