Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
