PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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