Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
