Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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