The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
