My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im six kinds of drunk right now
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
