your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
