I just made out with a guy for $7.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
