Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
