dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sorry about my life...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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