Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My life is pants optional.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
