We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
