It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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